Ms. Acorntail

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Acorntail's Journal

From the archives of Mistdale University


I don't know how many times I've started writing this journal. Every time I try, I finish, and then just don't upload it and delete it from my sta.sh. I can never get this right. But I need to do it anyway.

A while ago, I asked you all if it were better to strive for happiness despite all the odds, or be content with what I have, despite it making me unhappy. Well, the results of that poll were pretty clear.
I voted for striving for happiness.

I wanted to do this a while ago, but told myself to wait until a better time. In my experience, that better time never comes.

I've never really been happy with who I was, not since I was a kid, anyway. I always felt that a part of me never belonged where I was, and that feeling has pushed me inwards my whole life. I never liked talking with people, or meeting new people, or what I saw when I looked in the mirror. I never looked after myself, nor did I want to. I thought I was being stoic by not telling my mother about my problems, and it took me shaking in my bed in the middle of the night holding my phone to call the anti-suicide hotline to realise just how bad things had become.

All those years of hiatus. All those months of depression. All those sleepless nights...

Some of you either don't know or don't care, so I'm loathe to correct you, but those of you who know me as male?
Maybe it's time to reintroduce myself.

Hi. My name is Jordan, though most of you know me as Acorntail. Four months ago, I realised I was transgender. I came out to my immediate family and close friends a month ago. 
This birthday was my last as a guy.

I'm still the same person I always was. I'm still the same writer, the same drawer, the same friend. I'll still be here writing Aryala.
But I've spent too long on this site lying to you guys. 

I am a girl. Please use she/her when referring to me, and please respect this, even if you may not understand it.

Thank you all.

- Jordan

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Dakhil's avatar
I'm sorry I'm late to the party. But I'm happy for you. :) I'm happy that you were able to find happiness in your life. I know that people have already said this, but you are still the same you even though you're transgender. And nothing is going to change that. I do apologise for reiterating what people have already said.